OK, Nebraska DOT, you asked for it

I get literally thousands of emails each week.

If it’s not something I requested or from a familiar address, I rarely give an email more than two to three seconds of my time before happily pushing the delete button and sending it off into cyber obscurity.

One snuck through my defenses the other day, though. Even though I was on deadline and had little time to browse, I had to take a closer look at this one.

The more I read, the more I chuckled.

The Nebraska Department of Transportation sent out an email blast asking Nebraskans to help them get an important message out. They are looking for “clever and insightful ‘Friday Safety Messages’” for display on electronic message boards along Nebraska’s interstates and other major highways.

The press release noted the messages will be featured every Friday, and the more creative, the better.

That idea sent my mind into super overdrive.

Since I’ve been known to turn a phrase or two from time to time, my brain started churning. I don’t profess to have any winners here, but some of them did make me, and the rest of the staff, chuckle.

Here we go: It only takes a few seconds for a distracted driver to get into an accident. Hope you’re not a slow reader.

If you’re reading this sign, you’re not paying attention to the car in front of you.

In a hurry? Watch your speed or the State Patrol trooper over the next hill could really slow you down. Go ahead, text and drive. The next tow truck is only five miles from here.

Read fast, the person in front of you is braking.

Rainy weather? Watch out for worms. OK, slow down. That’s the mile marker, not the speed limit sign.

Have you been looking for the right moment to find your Zen?

How about now? Road construction ahead. Red sky at night, drivers’ delight, Cloudy skies in the morning, speeders take warning.

Is that three-martini lunch making you tired on the drive home?

No worries, we can book a nice, cozy room for you at the Crowbar Hotel.

Drive safe. We don’t want to be remembering you next Memorial Day.

Road construction season is here ... Don’t you love orange?

Watch for deer, sometimes they like to samba.

This is a sign from God. No, it’s just a sign, but buckle up anyway.

Submissions for safety-oriented messages will be accepted from April 1 to April 30. Contributors are encouraged to focus on safe driving topics, incorporating tie-ins with holidays and upcoming events throughout the summer and early fall of 2024.

Messages should consist of three lines, with a maximum of 18 characters per line (including spaces). These will be evaluated to conform to regulations and edited for clarity.

For more information, visit ndot.info/FSM. To submit a message, visit ndot.info/submita- FSM.

So, put on your thinking cap, and remember, safety first!