Life was hard for Inger Kastrup after losing Emory

Before Emory Graffis left for the service he asked Inger Kastrup to marry him. She accepted. While stationed in Hawaii, he sent her a birthday card: It read: “Sweetheart of mine -- Loving you means happiness and skies a bit more blue! Thinking of you means my thoughts are bright and happy, too! Greeting you just means I’m glad, to have a part. In birthday thoughts and wishes, when they’re for you Sweetheart! Emory.”

Sadly, they would never see each other again. On Oct. 27, 1943, Emory was killed in the line of duty on Guadalcanal. His body was never recovered.

Inger’s youngest sister Lily Kastrup Vogel — now 91 years old —told this writer that Inger was very sad and depressed after Emory died. In May 1944, she enlisted in the Women’s Army Corps (WACS). When her twoyear hitch was up she re-enlisted and was sent to Germany to work with the Army of Occupation.

While in Germany she met James A. Mendenhall. Like Inger, Mendenhall also was on his second hitch. During his first hitch he was trained as a glider pilot and earned the rank of Flight Officer. He was not sent overseas and was discharged in 1944.

In 1946 Mendenhall re-enlisted in the regular army and was sent to Germany. Lily said that he and Inger were married while they were in the service. A photograph taken in Paris shows a smiling and happy couple. But the happiness would be short lived.

James Mendenhall had an unsavory past. He was only 29 years old when he met Inger had been married three times before and may have been married when they became close.

Shortly after graduating from high school in 1936, Mendenhall married Mignone Parmelee, his high school sweetheart. The marriage lasted less than three years.

In August 1939 he married Merle Williams of Hooker, OK. A baby girl arrived in July 1941. They named her Jimmy Elaine. In March 1944, while still in the service, he married Martha Roberts of Detroit, Michigan. When he re-enlisted and was sent to Germany in 1946, she returned to Detroit to live with her parents.

By April 1948, Mendenhall was back in Oklahoma and he had another wife. This one was Inger Kastrup. In August another baby arrived.

This one was a boy. They named him James A. Mendenhall, Jr., but he was usually called Jimmy.

In September 1949, Mr. and Mrs. Mendenhall and Jimmy came to Nebraska to visit her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Viggo Kastrup of Laurel and her grandparents Mr. and Mrs. Marius Kastrup of Wausa.

But when she returned for Thanksgiving in 1950, her name was “Mrs. Inger Mendenhall” not “Mrs. James Mendenhall.” There was no further mention of her husband after that.

“They didn’t stay married long,” said Lily Kastrup Vogel, in a telephone conversation with this writer. “He was a drunk and he wasn’t kind to her.

Viggo didn’t like him at all.”

In another phone conversation with this writer, Jim Mendenhall now of Salina, Kansas, said his father was an alcoholic and often beat his mother. Ray Brentlinger (a cousin) and Inger’s sister Lily both said the same thing. Lily added that her sister was a really kind person and didn’t deserve the abuse. Borge Kastrup said Viggo went to Oklahoma to try to straighten him out a few times.

Even after they parted, Inger had a hard life. She worked for the telephone company in Liberal, Kansas. The pay was low and she received no child support from her ex husband. Jim said he did not even meet his father until he was 15 years old and only saw him a couple of times after that.

Because Inger was unable to provide for herself and her son, her brother Arne Kastrup offered to adopt Jimmy. But Arne lived in Nebraska and Inger did not want her son to be that far from her. She decided to let Jimmy live with Mr. and Mrs. Frank Gant instead. Velma Gant was a sister of her ex-husband James Mendenhall. The Gants lived on a farm near Baker in the panhandle region of Oklahoma. Inger lived in Liberal, Kansas, about 15 miles from Baker.

Jim said Frank and Velma made sure he saw his mother frequently and he would often stay with her when she wasn’t working. He said his mother would take him to Nebraska nearly every summer to visit the Kastrups and other relatives. He said they usually took the train or bus as Inger never learned how to drive. “Mom went above and beyond as far as I am concerned considering her position in life,” said Jim Mendenhall.

In 1975 or 1976 Inger married Nick Chutich of Pueblo, Colo. Borge Kastrup said Nick was good to her and took care of her after she suffered a stroke in her early 50s. Inger Chutich died in 1978 at the age of 54. She is buried in Pueblo alongside Nick who died in 1986.

James Mendenhall committed suicide in 1969 and is buried in Tyrone, Oklahoma.

POSTSCRIPT: Two of Inger’s three sisters also met sad endings. Her older sister, Edith, married Emory’s brother Raymond in 1944. They named their eldest son Emory in honor of his deceased brother. Edith died of a brain tumor Jan. 5, 1953. She was only 30.

Her grandfather Marius Kastrup of Wausa died on the same day.

Esther married Howard Brentlinger. In 1976 she was killed in a car accident on Highway 20. She was 49.

Of Viggo and Agnes Kastrup’s two sons and four daughters, only Lily survives. She is 91 years old and lives in Missouri.

This concludes my series on Emory Graffis.

Once again thanks to the people who contributed to this article: Sandra Cross; Borge Kastrup; Arlyce Graffis, daughter of Ray Graffis and his second wife Alice; Traci Graffis Trampe, daughter of Ray and Edith Graffis’ son Emory; Duane and Jackie Burns of Grand Island; Ray Brentlinger of Allen, son of Howard and Esther Kastrup Brentlinger; Lily Kastrup Wadkins Vogel of Kaiser, Missouri, sister of Inger and Esther; and Jim Mendenhall of Salina, Kansas, son of James A. and Inger Kastrup Mendenhall. This series of articles could not have been written without their generous input.